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He’s not really into poetry, but says he’ll take it just so he has an excuse to see me again. In the end, I was rejected for the most ordinary of reasons: He simply fell harder for someone else.
I was lucky, a double mastectomy, no chemo, no radiation and no drugs. But taking the breasts off a single woman who is actively dating - that's the tough part! You think it's over now and life will go on as before, but it's not. Having a double means you have no more breast tissue which means no more feeling in your breasts. And a bunch of scars that travel across your breasts like a roadmap. This is the time that you have to truly believe in yourself - when he doesn't call you again after you told him, or he can't understand why you won't let him touch you and he thinks you don't like him, or that you're not even worthy of being loved until your body looks nearly perfect again - you have to believe with your entire being that you're still the same loving, giving, fun and sexy girl you were before your breasts were taken off. This is when you find out how truly healthy or truly damaged your self esteem really is. Proven over and over again by my heart that perseveres no matter how hurt or sad or astonished it has been. Strange bedfellows - single, dating and a double mastectomy.
So I spent a long time searching for a solution, but that's another story.
We who want love and acceptance and to know we're okay just as we are.
Social worker Barbara Golby gives advice for restoring confidence, setting expectations, and disclosing disease history and shares resources for cancer patients and survivors looking to jump into the dating scene.
Dating is exciting — but having cancer or having had cancer in the past can make the search for a relationship seem daunting. “Dating was hard and scary even before you had cancer, and all of those fears are probably still there after the cancer,” says Memorial Sloan Kettering clinical social worker Barbara Golby.
”I assume he’s falling in love with one of the other women he started dating, but I’m not sure.